Justice? Surely you jest.

What’s the difference between a trial in Pine Valley and a train to Crazy Town? As far as I can tell, nothing at all.

AMC doesn’t even try for verisimilitude. I am not exactly complaining about that. After all, this is a soap.  And frankly, if logic prevailed it wouldn’t be a trial in Pine Valley.

There are many traditions in a PV trial. “Don’t say anything bad about the dead” has no place in a PV courtroom. In fact, just the opposite is true. The more the murdered party is defamed, the more likely it is that no one will serve time. In the case of the evil but sexy David Hayward, the defaming started before the body was cold.

Erica must affect the proceedings in some ridiculous manner.  Most times, she rushes into the courtroom, disrupting the proceedings.  Instead of throwing her out of the courtroom, the judge lets her stay. The judge lets her stay to testify from the middle of the aisle. And without being sworn in.

Equally important is that Erica’s testimony is seldom, well, seldom,uhh, useful. In this trial, Erica was sitting in the correct place and sworn in. The only thing that didn’t change was the uselessness of her testimony. She informed the court that Jack, the defendant’s father, believed in his daughter’s innocence. Hardly shocking and certainly not relevant.  In addition, while testifying, she and Jack were exchanging smoldering looks. I half expected the judge to call a recess so  the witness and the defense attorney could have sex on the courtroom floor. Or on the tables. Or in the jury box. Or on the judge’s comfy looking chair.

If I had a dollar for each time a witness committed perjury, I could afford to buy a few Bump-Its for my sad hair. Add in a dollar for each time someone manufactured and/or destroyed evidence, I could buy the company that makes Bump-Its.

Tad has demonstrated almost extraordinary skill at manufacturing evidence. If he hadn’t produced the fake pictures, Brooke might have served time for killing Jim Thomason.

If Tad hadn’t gone to extraordinary lengths, Zach and Dixie would be spending their last days on Death Row in the Big House for killing Greg Madden. Of course, Tad had a self-serving reason for those actions. Yes, he wanted Dixie, and to a lesser extent, Zach, to go free. That required quite a lot of skill. He had to manufacture evidence that freed Zach and Dixie without pointing the investigation in his direction.

Why was Tad concerned about the investigation turning in his direction? Because he’s the one responsible for Madden’s death.

Guilt or innocence has little place in a PV trial; where would the fun be in that?

Ahh, what a tangled web Pine Valley justice weaves.

I don’t even know why this trial is being held at all. To convict someone of murder, doesn’t someone need to be dead?  And since I refuse to believe that David is dead, this trial, while fun, will turn out to have had no purpose at all. 

It’ll likely to turn out that the only thing this trial achieves is Madison’s broken heart. Considering Madison is guilty of, but was never tried for, murder maybe justice will finally be served. After all, isn’t losing Ryan the greatest punishment of all?

Let’s see, did anything else of interest happen in the Valley last week? Be patient, please, I am doing my best to come up with something.

Oh, yeah, there was this


What a beautiful couple. A beautiful couple who will, undoubtedly, soon experience something dreadful.

That’s not a spoiler because every happy couple in Pine Valley experiences something dreadful.

And there is no justice in that at all.

See you in two weeks. As always, thank you for reading what I write.

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