What a day. What a day.
This morning I had breakfast with the Chief of Police. Not long after that, I was lunching with the District Attorney. He sure can talk. And talk. And talk. And talk.
Do I need their support for a community project? No. Do I need their support in an upcoming election? No. Is a family member or friend in deep legal trouble? Nope.
Was it just a chance for old friends to catch up with each other? Nope. In fact, it was the first time I met either of them.
Why, then, was I dining with them? Because I want them to think of me as a “fine and lovely lady.”In fact, I want them to think of me as a dear friend. That’s why I volunteered to handle the pony rides at the COP’s daughter’s birthday party. On Saturday. And I promised to make the cake for the DA’s wedding anniversary celebration. He’s expecting around 150 guests. Oh, and did I mention the celebration is this Sunday?
Busy. Busy. Busy. On Monday I’m going to rob an armored car. I will be filthy rich and happy. Why? Because my friends, the DA and the Chief of Police, won’t let any charges be pressed against me. They will arrest and convict the driver. Why? Because he never took them to lunch and/or breakfast.
Did I mention that I live in PineValley, Pennsylvania ?
PV’s justice system has always been whimsical. Krystal, kidnapper and restaurant owner, is walking around footloose and fancy free. Yet, Trey, who confessed to a simple arson charge, is still in prison. Looks like he’ll be there for the rest of his life, or until Kendall needs another organ transplant.
I look forward to PV trials. I can’t wait to see who storms into the courtroom and demands to testify. And the judge lets them. I cannot wait to see who passes out. Or who pulls someone’s clothes off. Or declares eternal love from the witness box. Or Erica looking like she’s doing the court a favor just by showing up. And let’s not forget false evidence.
I love it. It was an outlier in an otherwise fairly well organized town.
Pine Valley’s systems are organized. PV residents’ emotions are not. Combine the two and see why I love the Valley.
But now, we must face the fact that Pine Valley is out of control these days.
It feels like everyone is having a kegger when the parents are out of town. Trouble is the parents appear to be gone forever.
Ryan is walking around with Zach’s will in hand. No need for a meeting with Zach’s lawyer. Ryan will take care of everything.
And then we have the PVPD. I didn’t mind Jesse being made COP even though he had been out of law enforcement for 20 years. They had to do something with the character.
On Jesse’ first day on the job, he swore the department would be run “by the book.” Little did I know the book was “The Dummies Guide to Police Procedure.” The footnote on the cover: “Doesn’t cover evidence procedure, Miranda Rights, or anything remotely related to being a good police officer.”
And every time the Mayor demands he really do his job, Jesses behaves like a child being reprimanded for not turning in his homework.
I could present evidence of Jesse’s incompetencies but I am sure we all have our favorites.
It makes me sad. Years ago Jesse was one of my favorite characters. Now, I’d like him to leave PV for at least another 20 years.
Don’t get me started on PVH. I’m starting on my own. If Joe knew what was going on, he would weep. I don’t doubt for a moment that Charles Tyler is turning over in his grave. Repeatedly.
And the sorry state has little to do with David Hayward.
My recent favorite? Angie telling Jesse to tell Jake that he needs to take over things while she’s gone. I was watching with a friend and we started to smack each other’s head at that one.
And the red-headed cherry on the sundae is Liza deciding to drop the charges against Erica. Why? Because Liza wants to spend more time with Colby.
I love movies. If the movie is telling me a compelling story I don’t notice how many “real” things don’t make sense. I am too busy enjoying the film to notice.
And maybe that’s my problem with AMC. The stories don’t engage me enough so I spend my time nit-picking about things.
We could talk more about it but I’ve got to run. I’m treating the Mayor to a mani-pedi.
Katrina will be here next week.
Thank you for reading what I write.